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Can you survive
a dilemma?



An 8teen year old who has always been a struggling, but proud student
Prioritizing family & friends, she treasures them much
She loves indulging in good food and has dreams to fly around the globe
Very much interested in High fashion & hopes to catwalk down Runways
Wanna be rich one day. Photos are merely photos.
She is known to be a low-self esteem and negative person.


Facebook, Friendster (inactive),
Livejournal (slightly private) & MySpace (inactive)

Hawa Bestfriend
Ayn Liah Ainn Elle Jenny the Jen

Down Memory Lane
(under construction)
2007


2008
You'll never see me cry,
Thursday, October 8, 10/08/2009 03:12:00 am

Tell me how am I suppose to breathe, thinking about you all day then having you in my dreams all night? I bloody don't care if anyone thinks I sound pathetic, really. Say all you want, insult, critisize all you want. I bloody don't care. You don't know how it has been for me. You don't know how my 2009 has been, from starting till now, not sure about the rest of the months though. I'm no psychic. Right now, all I want is to turn eighteen badly. I have no idea why, but I just want to get legal quick. I have a wish which I really hope to achieve, no not new clothes/money. What I really want for my eighteenth birthday is my own personal home key. Can I get this? Hopefully. Ah, sidetracked a little I know. Damn boy, you don't know how much I miss you. You might have thought I've moved on just by my actions and looks that day, but you're so wrong. Do congratulate me, I'm a great actress aren't I? Talking and giving you wide smiles like nothing happened eh? No, I'm still the same girl you used to know, who cry every night. You know me, right. Hmm, what about yourself, smiling and talking like nothing had happened too. Fell sick yesterday, temperature was 39degrees. Remember the last time I fell sick? You were there for me, I had you the last time. Now I do not have anyone. Where are you now. I remembered telling you that evening, temperature was 39.5degrees. How long was that? To me, it was like only yesterday. I still have the 'moment' or 'scene' in my mind how it was that night when we bumped into each other. I was actually glad I met you, and how even much glad I was when you actually smiled at me with your ever charming grin, and you did talk to me alot. I was wishing to hug you tight, but I understand you don't even hope to receive it. After parting from you, of course I cried. I cried and cried and cried and I blooody cried. Boy, you'll never see me cry. He tried to cheer me up, yeah so much for trying we ended up in a terrible fight. I wanted to just walked away, he even had the cheek to say this: "You can go if you want to!" What the !@#$, right. He's such a jerk, he's more like a bxtch. He, with his fxcking huge ego, can go fxck off. I hate him, I love you. I just need you badly. Am I asking for too much?


Salam sayang,
ymB aanaeeD ♥