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Can you survive
a dilemma?



An 8teen year old who has always been a struggling, but proud student
Prioritizing family & friends, she treasures them much
She loves indulging in good food and has dreams to fly around the globe
Very much interested in High fashion & hopes to catwalk down Runways
Wanna be rich one day. Photos are merely photos.
She is known to be a low-self esteem and negative person.


Facebook, Friendster (inactive),
Livejournal (slightly private) & MySpace (inactive)

Hawa Bestfriend
Ayn Liah Ainn Elle Jenny the Jen

Down Memory Lane
(under construction)
2007


2008
Is there really no second chance?,
Friday, October 2, 10/02/2009 01:00:00 am

My heart is broken. My heart's torn apart in many little bits and pieces. Why does all this have to happen to me? Am I that jinxed? I'm so hurt right now, I wish I could turn back time and not start everything in the first place. All I've been doing are just crying and crying and more crying. Why can't I ever get happines? Am I really not girlfriend material? Am I destined not to be with any guy? I've been trying my best for this one, but guess luck wasn't on my side as always. I'm not desperate, but I need someone by my side, someone who can support me and understand me. Someone who can be loyal with me, I'm looking for true love and long-term happiness not some short relationship. Obviously it's not easy, but am I really not good enough for anyone? If anyone asks, I'll answer: It's not the duration, it's the contents. Nobody would understand what we went through. I've learnt my lesson, I've learnt many new things, I've learnt the meaning of all this and no they're not good lessons but why am I still not moving on and forget about it? It's so tough, I'm so bloody hurt. I just want you, I need you. I Miss You. Why did I have to bump into you at the wrong place with the wrong company? Why did I have to bump into you when all along I've been having you in my mind? Is heaven punishing and torturing me? I miss you, I got a little glad that we bumped into each other. I wished I could hug you tight, I wish I could talk more with you, I wish I could ask about Us but I was too afraid and shocked to be seeing you. Your smile, I miss. Your laughter, I miss. You, I miss. I miss those times, I still remember them clearly in my mind. Since I befriended you, I never stopped crying. From the beginning, till now still the tears are continuing to drop. I miss you, boy. Why can't you appreciate me?

And to you, fxck off okay? I don't need you. Why should I be thinking of you when I've got myself to think about at this point of time? I'm not being selfish, but if you are matured enough, you would realize that I'm not in my best and I've got lots to think about. So is it wrong that I think about myself now? If not now, when? I'm guessing I've been thinking more for others rather than myself. I've been neglecting myself, when I've gotten into this mess, who's the one who's suffering? You? No! I hate you, you get it? You've been irritating and annoying me with your irritating and annoying antics and you had the cheek to boast your ego and attitude to me? Tried to give me a lecture? Fxck you! You should already know that you are messing with the wrong girl. From the start, I've shown you my true colours. You thought I was pretending all along? And oh, stop it with you blogging about me. Why so sensitive? What's up with showing your anger towards me in your blog? Act your gender, mister! Fxck ah, kau dah malas kan? Aku pun! Aku dah siang-siang malas! Sekarang baru kau tau sape Diana, sekarang baru nak menyesal? Cb

Ah fxck, what have I been blabbering about? Cb, I don't need a boyfriend. I'm better off without any. I can be both a guy and girl at the same time. I've been so used to not having a boyfriend, I'll be okay this time. I guess...
I MISS YOU ALOT, I HATE IT THAT WE BUMPED INTO EACH OTHER, ME BEING WITH THE WRONG COMPANY! AHHHH I'M GLAD YOU SMILED AT ME SO CHARMINGLY LIKE THE WAY YOU USED TO, I'M GLAD YOU TALKED TO ME, I'M GLAD YOU WERE THERE. I STILL LOVE YOU. I'M MISSING YOU SO BADLY. I NEED YOU. I MISS YOU, I MISS OUR TIMES. I miss the 16th of August, I miss 25th of August. I miss everything about you. I miss your kisses, I miss your sweetness. I miss you being care and concern for me. I NEED YOU.
I miss you, Mohammed Shafiq bin Mohammed Sultan!


Salam sayang,
ymB aanaeeD ♥