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Can you survive
a dilemma?



An 8teen year old who has always been a struggling, but proud student
Prioritizing family & friends, she treasures them much
She loves indulging in good food and has dreams to fly around the globe
Very much interested in High fashion & hopes to catwalk down Runways
Wanna be rich one day. Photos are merely photos.
She is known to be a low-self esteem and negative person.


Facebook, Friendster (inactive),
Livejournal (slightly private) & MySpace (inactive)

Hawa Bestfriend
Ayn Liah Ainn Elle Jenny the Jen

Down Memory Lane
(under construction)
2007


2008
"We stop here...",
Friday, September 11, 9/11/2009 12:42:00 am

Upon banging the steel gate behind her, she's started to feel something was gonna go wrong. She did what she usually do which is inform you that she's out and where she's heading to. At the train station, as she waited for the train... you gave a reply. There she was, surprised by the reply she received from you. She got so confused. She didn't expect the waterworks would start. She tried to end it, but it flows like there's no tomorrow. As the train arrives, she looked downwards as she couldn't find a way to hide those tears. She didn't know what to do, she sat there - unknowing that the train has arrived. She just couldn't endure with it. It hurt her.. . bad. She wasn't so strong to reply you at that point of time but she had wished she could ask you just a simple 'why'. She was all alone, she realized that she needs this alone time. She understands that she cannot depend on others always, she got herself in this mess, she's got to bring herself out of it by herself. Boarding the next incoming train was a major decision to make. She board it. Sitting down, thinking about what you just said.. .made her weep more. Yes she got embarrassed when people started taking glances at her. She looked at herself in the reflection of the windows: "looking terrible there"... red/swollen eyes, no makeup on, hair in a mess as she didn't bother combing... she just looked... downright ugly. Meeting her bestfriend whom she hid the story from, made her even more embarrassed eventhough it's her bestfriend. She didn't know, she couldn't think properly aftermath. It just pains her, storytelling her bestfriend from A-Z. For sure her bestfriend didn't expect all these, as much as her bestfriend wants to feel sorry for her, no doubt her bestfriend will be pissed about knowing she kept all these from her, eventhough they're close. She managed to control her tears while storytelling her bestfriend, instead she got angry learning with what she herself's been speaking about. She's so upset, she wished she could do something. But it seems she has no say in these. She just got to accept fate. She's not risking and wasting her life on topic like these anymore; complete waste of time. She's gonna change or she's gonna still be who she's always been since forever. Enough of giving herself a chance, now she herself is the one that's suffering. Enough shitzzz as what you wanted, right? Alright then, as you say.
Goodbye, boyfriend
For sure you're happier now
Don't bother remembering her anymore
Fxck you, unappreciative boy


Salam sayang,
ymB aanaeeD ♥