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Can you survive
a dilemma?



An 8teen year old who has always been a struggling, but proud student
Prioritizing family & friends, she treasures them much
She loves indulging in good food and has dreams to fly around the globe
Very much interested in High fashion & hopes to catwalk down Runways
Wanna be rich one day. Photos are merely photos.
She is known to be a low-self esteem and negative person.


Facebook, Friendster (inactive),
Livejournal (slightly private) & MySpace (inactive)

Hawa Bestfriend
Ayn Liah Ainn Elle Jenny the Jen

Down Memory Lane
(under construction)
2007


2008
Accumulation of the days,
Wednesday, September 9, 9/09/2009 12:49:00 am

I may wait, still be waiting, but I will not wait forever


Quite a series of events have happened in my life for the past weeks, no, it's not ending. Well, it might get better, some may get worst. Who knows what the future might hold? I've been ever patient, grown stronger, go insane one night, cry every night. I am tired. Thankfully the exams are over, which means no school for a month. Off to spend my holidays releasing my so-called stress, scream loud from the bottom of my lungs, meet up people whom I miss alot, wake up as late as I want to, stay out late, go shopping till my legs wear out. Damn I sound as though I'm so busy I haven't done all that yet. I WAS BUSY; cus of school, which I detest much. It just tires me out. Now let's put Institute of (Torture) Edu. aside.

I miss you. I hate it that we turned out like this. I hate what happened right after your card has balances. Wonder who did that for you. I turned berserk on that night, why? Cus I couldn't accept the fact on your excuses/reasons for wanting that. It just broke my heart hearing what you wanted. Have you spared a thought for me? It pains me hearing all your unnecessary sarcasms and insults towards me. I'm sorry I had to fight back. We didn't use to be like this, You didn't use to be like this. Why are you so different now? Where's the person I used to know? The adorable and sweet person? Where is that person? I want that person, I don't want the new one. (Imagine me shouting all that crap at midnight while crying) Ah fxck it, I'm not seeking sympathy here. I just missed those times, those sweet times, not like right now. It's all so different now, suddenly. I had a hard time catching up, thinking 'what happened?'. I just wish you could appreciate me. I miss you

It's the fasting month, and sadly I've not fasted for already 9 days and counting. How disappointing is that? Well, at least I am. Raya's in, say, a week's time? No? That fast? I'm not even prepared, yet. Home's not welcoming raya too it seems. I've just bought 2 bajus only, I need more. Soon. Shoes? Ha-ha, used the money given for something else you don't want to know :P I've to top-up on my make ups, buy my shoes, buy more bajus, buy accessories, do my hair(!!), do my eyebrows (!!), buy raya bag etc. Money, money, I need money! Who wants to accompany me to get all these done? Yaya's irritated with me saying, "Aku nak make sure this year raya aku lawa, sebab last year aku tak. The year before pun aku tak." Heh, that's me. Talking bout Yaya, I miss her, Qila, Kak Aisha ALOT! Sigh, friendship since 2006 still going on alright :)

Just received a text message from you. You wanted to ask me something. This scares me, I get nervous and anxious each time you say things like that. Heart's beating as fast as a jungle drum. ... Gosh, he met with an accident(!!!!!!!)
Dear, are you alright? See lah, you never even tell me you borrowed your friend's motor! Hope you're not badly hurt. Now your friend's asking money from you cus the motor's spoilt. If only I've money, dear. If only. Seriously. Hope you're okay, I'm so worried right now =/ Haiya, stress uh!

Damnit, I'm typing in paragraphs and I HATE IT! If only I could write like this long in compositions. Yeah sure whatever. Okay meeting the WonderGirls this afternoon, can't wait! DEAR, I'M SORRY I can't be there for you :'( Fxcklah, if only I'm 18 and I've got my own keys, I will come down and help you! Am I terrible or what???


Salam sayang,
ymB aanaeeD ♥